He restoreth my soul.

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I’m still alive underneath this shroud. January 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — restorethmysoul @ 8:04 pm

Please pray for me.  Beginning Saturday around noon, an overwhelming feeling of despair began creeping over me, and I still feel it today.  News of a dear friends’ new pregnancy, my father’s wedding (on saturday — the news of the prenancy came literally 30 minutes before my dad and his new wife said their vows) and impending layoffs at work are not doing wonders for my faith. I am always in constant struggle with anxiety, even before IF hit my life.  I don’t know if it is because the news of my friends’ pregnancy came right around the same time that I had just taken a pregnancy test (BFN, meaning I will have to take the drugs to make my period come) or if it was because it came at a time that was already extremely emotional and tender to me (my father’s wedding), but this time has hit me harder then any other pregnancy news.  I feel like such a scum bag to not be ecstatically happy with my friend, and honestly, of course I am happy for her…I just don’t know how to shake the feelings of envy and despair.

So, please pray for me.  Hopefully I will get my p.eriod in a week, and then start the Clomid soon after, I will keep you all posted.

Also, in lighter news, I am part of the Creme de la Creme over at Stirrup Queens — check out the icon in the sidebar!


4 Responses to “I’m still alive underneath this shroud.”

  1. Hillary Says:

    I said a prayer! (((hugs)))

  2. restorethmysoul Says:

    thanks hillary!

  3. B Says:

    it’s times like these that are faith testing — but as long as we know that God is good and that he loves us, we’ll get through it. I am praying for you.

  4. restorethmysoul Says:

    thanks B — that is a good word — it’s hard to remember God’s goodness sometimes.

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