Just wanted to put up a quick post in order to praise God for His grace to me when I am in need. Yesterday was a day of deep despair, as I found out that I would have to spend $300 (my deductible) to get an ultrasound just to determine if I have any cysts or not — if I have some, they won’t go through with a cycle this month, and then of course, next month I will have to spend money to get ANOTHER ultrasound to see if there are cysts, and so forth. Anyway, the exorbitant price of this IF stuff is really starting to get to P and honestly, to me as well. But anyway…I was really down. Really really really down, dont want to get out of bed kind of down. P running out to buy me a milkshake to try and make me feel better kind of down. and then my phone rings. and i was able to have a hard conversation with someone that i didnt think i would have had any other way and it was needed. it was freeing. i felt like a weight was lifted off of me. thank you if you are reading this — your call was a mercy from the Lord.
and then we had friends over, good, dear friends who know my situation (not many real-life friends know at this juncture) and who really truly care about me. a friend and his wife spent about 20 minutes on my porch just encouraging me, shedding tears and letting me know that me and P’s happiness mattered immensely to them and that they pray in faith and hope for us to have a baby. ive realized how blessed I am to have friends who can pray with hope for me, as I pretty much have no hope at this moment in time. its good to know that others can trust God for me when I can’t.
so thank you, Lord — even when I was deep in despair, You lifted up my eyes to the heavens, whence comes my hope.